Guys, I've been in Guatemala for 7.5 months.
PC has this really silly "life cycle of a Volunteer" infographic which says that I should be reaching right about now a low point in my service.
I should be feeling like I haven't accomplished anything yet and should be feeling lost and not knowing what to do next.
Ding, ding, ding! Winner, winner chicken dinner. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Sometimes I just sit and wonder what *are* reasonable goals for me in my service and what I *should* try to do here.
It's part of our behavior change model that you have to "precontemptlate" and "contemplate" before you can make any change. Yep, definitely in that phase personally. Can't. Don't. What is goalsetting?
I think part of the issue is that we as PCVs are natural go-getters, overachievers, seekers. So we're our own hardest critics.
I haven't done *nothing,* even though it sometimes feels that way. I've helped a bunch of women write emergency action plans for their pregnancies. I've taught 75 women about basic family nutrition. I've made connections with people who I can work with on future projects. We had that girl's camp. I've coordinated (for next month) a training activity for all the health district personnel. And I've learned a boatload.
Things I've learned so far:
*The legacy of NGO presence and political support rallying (read: manipulation) by the government has left the legacy of a handout culture in many communities where it is impossible to motivate people to attend trainings without receiving some kind of tangible benefit.
*Food security here isn't always an access or an education issue. Sometimes people have the money, local availability, etc. to put good food on their table and choose to eat rice with a side of tortillas. Maybe they still legitimately don't understand the importance of protein, vitamins and minerals. I think that for some it's harder to change the recipes that have been in their family for generations to include more veggies.
*Alcoholism is a problem. I don't know if I've written about this yet, but I've intended to. The other day there was still frost on the ground when I left for work. While walking there, I saw a young man (18 maybe if I had to guess) lying on the ground on his back in a drunken stupor, wearing a t-shirt and slacks. No jacket. No hat. No scarf. Just lying there in the shade beneath the building.
People come to the health post so drunk they can hardly speak. There's a PC legend that a man in one of the communities we work in died on the street and wasn't discovered for 2 days. Here, people pass out drunk on the side of the road all the time. So, nobody disturbs them. 2 days is a scary thought, though.
*The education system here, phewy! They took science out of the tercero basico curriculum (equivalently about 8th grade) in public schools.
Three days into classes, the teachers in the entire country went on strike. There are no classes right now. I'm not even sure if I can get to work today, seeing as they're blocking the roads in my municipality.
*God, Guatemala's complicated. We think about the lack of development here, and my first reaction is to blame the civil war/genocide (whatever you want to believe) for crippling the economy, trust in the government, and basic access for rural Mayans. But I don't know anymore. Sometimes I think other factors are bigger than that, but I'm not sure where they come from...
My poli-sci professors would be so mad at me for identifying 2 cultural factors as contributing factors to lack of developmental progress. (I'll define development at some point.)
But anyway, so my life right now is a strange mixture of adventure and work. I need to go into hibernation for a few weeks and just reflect on everything I've learned so far. It's a crazy, crazy world.
TLDR? Read it.
PC has this really silly "life cycle of a Volunteer" infographic which says that I should be reaching right about now a low point in my service.
I should be feeling like I haven't accomplished anything yet and should be feeling lost and not knowing what to do next.
Ding, ding, ding! Winner, winner chicken dinner. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Sometimes I just sit and wonder what *are* reasonable goals for me in my service and what I *should* try to do here.
It's part of our behavior change model that you have to "precontemptlate" and "contemplate" before you can make any change. Yep, definitely in that phase personally. Can't. Don't. What is goalsetting?
I think part of the issue is that we as PCVs are natural go-getters, overachievers, seekers. So we're our own hardest critics.
I haven't done *nothing,* even though it sometimes feels that way. I've helped a bunch of women write emergency action plans for their pregnancies. I've taught 75 women about basic family nutrition. I've made connections with people who I can work with on future projects. We had that girl's camp. I've coordinated (for next month) a training activity for all the health district personnel. And I've learned a boatload.
Things I've learned so far:
*The legacy of NGO presence and political support rallying (read: manipulation) by the government has left the legacy of a handout culture in many communities where it is impossible to motivate people to attend trainings without receiving some kind of tangible benefit.
*Food security here isn't always an access or an education issue. Sometimes people have the money, local availability, etc. to put good food on their table and choose to eat rice with a side of tortillas. Maybe they still legitimately don't understand the importance of protein, vitamins and minerals. I think that for some it's harder to change the recipes that have been in their family for generations to include more veggies.
*Alcoholism is a problem. I don't know if I've written about this yet, but I've intended to. The other day there was still frost on the ground when I left for work. While walking there, I saw a young man (18 maybe if I had to guess) lying on the ground on his back in a drunken stupor, wearing a t-shirt and slacks. No jacket. No hat. No scarf. Just lying there in the shade beneath the building.
People come to the health post so drunk they can hardly speak. There's a PC legend that a man in one of the communities we work in died on the street and wasn't discovered for 2 days. Here, people pass out drunk on the side of the road all the time. So, nobody disturbs them. 2 days is a scary thought, though.
*The education system here, phewy! They took science out of the tercero basico curriculum (equivalently about 8th grade) in public schools.
Three days into classes, the teachers in the entire country went on strike. There are no classes right now. I'm not even sure if I can get to work today, seeing as they're blocking the roads in my municipality.
*God, Guatemala's complicated. We think about the lack of development here, and my first reaction is to blame the civil war/genocide (whatever you want to believe) for crippling the economy, trust in the government, and basic access for rural Mayans. But I don't know anymore. Sometimes I think other factors are bigger than that, but I'm not sure where they come from...
- Reliance on religion to a crippling extent. Now, I'm not that religious but religion is a huge strength for so many people I know. Here, it sometimes prevents people from making proactive health decisions. I can't tell you the number of times I've heard "If God wants me to live, I'll live. If he wan'ts me to die, I'll die in the hospital anyway, so I'm going to stay at home and see what he has in store for me." I desperately appreciate the value of individual choice and individual values and respect these decisions, but they scare me. I'm afraid for the women that make these choices.
- Machismo. I don't know where this comes from in Mayan values, but I do know lack of access to birth control (many times at the husband's decision) makes so many women here vulnerable to poverty, hunger, and death.
- Corruption. Yeah, I know where this one comes from.
My poli-sci professors would be so mad at me for identifying 2 cultural factors as contributing factors to lack of developmental progress. (I'll define development at some point.)
But anyway, so my life right now is a strange mixture of adventure and work. I need to go into hibernation for a few weeks and just reflect on everything I've learned so far. It's a crazy, crazy world.
TLDR? Read it.
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